Last week, 10 Oct '08, i went for this talk at Toa Payoh HDB Hub with a good of friend of mine, Hafiz Hussain.
I was attending Dr Patricia Love's talk. It was about "Keys To A Smart And Happy Love Life".
At the first thought of it, it has to be about dating. Couples and love. Frankly, it is!
In fact more to just that. She was sharing with us the science of love. The chemicals that run inside our brains. The electric jolt that you get when you meet women or men.
Studying and learning about relationships have been a core part of my life as i know people are important to me. They are the most important thing in my life. That is why i humbled myself to attend the seminar when many refused to go thinking that it has to be against religious orientation, manipulative and perhaps unIslamic.
I must say it is knowledge. And all knowledge comes from God. For those who were there left home with a greater understanding of human relationships.
The first thing we learnt was the misconception of love. Many of us, as Dr Pat mentioned, are disillusioned by the definition of love. We are tricked into that sex and romance idea of love propagated by the media, movies and the society itself.
The moment she mentioned that many are disillusioned by the meaning of love, i felt a sense of relief for all this while learning about relationships assured my true understanding of people and relationships beyond the scope of sex and romance.
The Truth About Love
As what i have learnt in her talk, love is definitely different from infatuation and lust. This section of the talk gave a tremendous insight on the definition of love. And how people are deceived by the understanding of love. By this time i believe that most relationships (BGR) are disillusional. (Yes! I was right 6 years ago when i strongly urge people to refrain from BGR. The feeling of attraction for the other person is blatantly disillusional. Although many are stubborn and allow themselves to submit to their lust.)
She then explained the scientific process of the human body when we are infatuated or in lust. When a person is infatuated she feels 'high' whenever she's new in a relationship. What actually happens is that the brain secrete a chemical named dopamine (and some other chemicals) that stimulates the body to feel 'excited'. I can't explain better than this guy. Check out his blog. He is quite detailed.
So my point is, (this is gonna hurt) for those who are in a BGR, you are just in a state of disillusionment. Have you ever wondered why after about two years or less you feel less attracted to the girl or guy? Yes, the natural drug in your body has subsided. And you no longer feel excited. That's the reason why most BGRs fail after two years, some even before the two -year mark.
Oh, didn't i tell you that the blood does not flow to the neocortex (if the scientific term is correct) when people are in 'love'? It is the front part of the brain. And the front lobe of the brain serves as a thinking tool. With less blood in that portion of the brain, no wonder people who are so-called in love do stupid things cos they can't think rationally and logically for the obvious reasons.
Now this brings me to prostration (sujud). It made total sense when we have to prostrate in our prayers. God wants us to be thinkers. Well at least that makes sense to me. When we think, we are safe ourselves from self-disillusionment. Blood flows to the front part of the brain! Isn't it amazing?! And just because of prostration, we become great thinkers and people with the highest form of logic. That's why i love muslims who never leave their prayers!
All in all i believe and i KNOW that all relationships have to be built. And what amaze me further about Dr Pat, she believes that true love start after marriage. Before marriage, most of the time it is fake, a social scam! Hahaha. I know. I sound harsh. Well let's face the brutal facts!
God's willing, i will post another thread on this subject. A more complete fact about men and women. How to face the differences and understand them. How to build great relationships and many more.
The talk made me speechless (not thoughtless okay). I just love it! Next time if i ask you to come along just come okay. Don't miss the wonders of knowledge!
Till then, leave your comment!
This wil be interesting!
I was attending Dr Patricia Love's talk. It was about "Keys To A Smart And Happy Love Life".
At the first thought of it, it has to be about dating. Couples and love. Frankly, it is!
In fact more to just that. She was sharing with us the science of love. The chemicals that run inside our brains. The electric jolt that you get when you meet women or men.
Studying and learning about relationships have been a core part of my life as i know people are important to me. They are the most important thing in my life. That is why i humbled myself to attend the seminar when many refused to go thinking that it has to be against religious orientation, manipulative and perhaps unIslamic.
I must say it is knowledge. And all knowledge comes from God. For those who were there left home with a greater understanding of human relationships.
The first thing we learnt was the misconception of love. Many of us, as Dr Pat mentioned, are disillusioned by the definition of love. We are tricked into that sex and romance idea of love propagated by the media, movies and the society itself.
The moment she mentioned that many are disillusioned by the meaning of love, i felt a sense of relief for all this while learning about relationships assured my true understanding of people and relationships beyond the scope of sex and romance.
The Truth About Love
As what i have learnt in her talk, love is definitely different from infatuation and lust. This section of the talk gave a tremendous insight on the definition of love. And how people are deceived by the understanding of love. By this time i believe that most relationships (BGR) are disillusional. (Yes! I was right 6 years ago when i strongly urge people to refrain from BGR. The feeling of attraction for the other person is blatantly disillusional. Although many are stubborn and allow themselves to submit to their lust.)
She then explained the scientific process of the human body when we are infatuated or in lust. When a person is infatuated she feels 'high' whenever she's new in a relationship. What actually happens is that the brain secrete a chemical named dopamine (and some other chemicals) that stimulates the body to feel 'excited'. I can't explain better than this guy. Check out his blog. He is quite detailed.
So my point is, (this is gonna hurt) for those who are in a BGR, you are just in a state of disillusionment. Have you ever wondered why after about two years or less you feel less attracted to the girl or guy? Yes, the natural drug in your body has subsided. And you no longer feel excited. That's the reason why most BGRs fail after two years, some even before the two -year mark.
Oh, didn't i tell you that the blood does not flow to the neocortex (if the scientific term is correct) when people are in 'love'? It is the front part of the brain. And the front lobe of the brain serves as a thinking tool. With less blood in that portion of the brain, no wonder people who are so-called in love do stupid things cos they can't think rationally and logically for the obvious reasons.
Now this brings me to prostration (sujud). It made total sense when we have to prostrate in our prayers. God wants us to be thinkers. Well at least that makes sense to me. When we think, we are safe ourselves from self-disillusionment. Blood flows to the front part of the brain! Isn't it amazing?! And just because of prostration, we become great thinkers and people with the highest form of logic. That's why i love muslims who never leave their prayers!
All in all i believe and i KNOW that all relationships have to be built. And what amaze me further about Dr Pat, she believes that true love start after marriage. Before marriage, most of the time it is fake, a social scam! Hahaha. I know. I sound harsh. Well let's face the brutal facts!
God's willing, i will post another thread on this subject. A more complete fact about men and women. How to face the differences and understand them. How to build great relationships and many more.
The talk made me speechless (not thoughtless okay). I just love it! Next time if i ask you to come along just come okay. Don't miss the wonders of knowledge!
Till then, leave your comment!
This wil be interesting!
